I probably already told you that I want to be a film director one day, and by independent film standards, I already am. But eventually I want to work on feature films, simply because I'll have more resources to pick from instead of scrounging around and mooching off of the people I know.
Anyways, I don't just want to direct. For the longest time, I thought of being a writer. That's easy, right? I've been writing my entire life, stories, short stories, fan fictions, unfinished fiction books, etc. I may not have finished most of them, but you have no idea how many ideas run through my head daily. "I don't know how your head hasn't exploded yet," my best friend Brittney said to me the other day.
I don't know either. It's a mystery how many hours I've spent on just thinking about stories. I'm sure I've gotten in mini comas during some lower division college classes because I was too wound up in another fictional world. Not to be like Kanye, but I realized that I'm pretty much a god when it comes to writing. I control everything, which is one of the reason why I love it so much.
But being just a writer is very limiting in and of itself. Unless your book 'series' has been recruited to adaptation by the Hollywood kooks, then you won't be flithy rich and widely known to anyone. (Not that Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings wasn't successful, they're wonderful films and books.) I didn't want just to write.
Then I thought, how about an artist? You can design and still have creative freedom. Sure, I'm a good artist, but I found out I'm really good at COPYING. If I have a picture beside a blank one, I can copy detail for detail and make it look exactly the same. Which still takes a lot of talent, according to those I've shown my artwork to. But it's incredibly hard for me to think of something from scratch and just draw it. I can MAYBE get the skeleton of it all. I love to draw and paint, but I don't think I can be a legit artist.
There's nothing that gets me more excited than cinematography. I've always been a fan of composing things in a certain frame. This translates well with photography and other art projects that I've done. It's even more a challenge when the frame is moving constantly. I guess you could say that I wasn't into cinematography fully until I witnessed the film Chronicle (2012). It's documentary-like style, the handheld shakey camera would seem like an amateur way to film things, but when you have a theme or a point to prove, it suddenly makes it beautiful. Remember, this was when I was struggling with either majoring in Linguistics or Film. I've done some video shoots, but nothing super elaborate.
I did do a short film in the summer of 2012 with a couple of friends from high school. It was god awful on some points, but the experience, nonetheless was fullfilling since I wrote, directed, edited and did the camerawork. I loved being challenged. But, just doing the camerawork wouldn't be enough for me.
So, basically. I discovered that I'm a very well rounded filmmaker, which will be very handy in the future. What does this all have to do with anything?
Well, currently, I'm in RTVF 455, a screenwriting class where we basically have to write an entire screenplay by the end of December. I thought it would be fun for you to understand that I'm not just a director. I usually immerse myself into all aspects of film, from costuming to editing. I'm sort of a mini-auteur (a director who has full control over everything), like Charlie Chaplin. Auteurs are the kind of people who have project where you KNOW that the director had their hands on everything, as though you can feel that THIS IS something made by J.J. Abrams or Christopher Nolan or Martin Scorsese.
Fun fact: J.J. Abrams physically shook his own cameras when shooting the 'diving on the drill' scene in Star Trek (2009) to get that shakey and unstableness. If you watch the behind the scenes on the DVD, you see J.J. on the camera shaking it. Hahaha
So, for RTVF 455, I must use the treatment I wrote for my previous class (RTVF 350 - Story Strucutre) as a template for the screenplay. If you don't know what a treatment is, it's a very dense overview of what the story will be about. It hits major literary points so that when writers pitch to executives, the execs know what's exactly in the story.
That treatment was one of the most difficult tasks of my life, but one of the most rewarding. It ended up being 11-12 pages, single spaced, 12 point Times New Roman font, of detailed story plot. I did get an A on it and after having a call appointment with my professor, I was surprised to find that it was actually a very decent and well thought out treatment.
It was a very good day for me to hear this from someone who's already been through the industry, working his way through to write 3-5 scripts a year. I'm very proud of this treatment and even though it took a part of my soul with it, I'm very excited to write the screenplay.
So! I am challenged to write ten pages every week until the semester ends. It'll be a fun ride. I invited people I know to read it as I go, sending them updates on the screenplay until I'm done.
Now for the story, it's entitled 'THE ASHTRAY HEART':
It's a very serious drama about a teenage girl named Dylan Allister, who takes solace within theatre (specifically method acting) as a result of the many abuses in her life, and the female reporter, Hayden Rabe, who personally takes it upon herself to figure out why Dylan became a school shooter.
It's a very dark subject, and not expected from someone like me: 20 year old Mormon girl who lived in a small town in California's Mojave Desert who doesn't partake in drinking, drugs, or anything else the world has to offer. But I do partake in films. I may be religious, but that does not limit me from having an open mind. If I didn't have one, I'd be forever stuck.
My goal for this screenplay is to get the audience to actually feel sorry for her despite her being a school shooter, which we ALL KNOW IS VERY BAD. So, to get a human being with moral standards to feel empathy for a character, who is learly crazy, is pretty much an impossible goal. NO. NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
As I said in my first blog post, I am very much interested in humans and why they do the things they do. Granted, I'm exploring a mind that I have no inkling of, but that's what makes it interesting. With this project, I hope to make it as realistic as possible, to stay away from the cliches of Hollywood and Summit Entertainment, who believed having Catherine Hardwicke direct the first Twilight would be a grandiose idea. (NOT.)
I have a lot of stories I want to do, but I thought of The ASHTRAY HEART about a year ago, back when my friend Clay Lacey and I were trying to kickstart a zombie short film that focused on human interest instead of the actual zombie apocalypse. Even though the project fell through before it could begin, it was instructive. It was about a girl who learns that in order to not turn into a zombie, she must do things that remind her to be human. She meets this renegade who's been bit more than once but hasn't turned. He's the only one who knows the cure, which is to just be human. It's a very interesting idea, and it kinda ignited this fire I had.
It's an interesting notion to think that there are people out there that fight everyday to try and feel something. It sucks to know that people get hurt every day, that we can't do anything about it. This, I believe, is a false notion.
We CAN do something about it. I started thinking about what to do to Dylan Allister, the main character, so that people would feel for her. One way was to make her whiny, but NO ONE likes a whiny character. This is what turned me off to Hunger Games. Sure it's realistic, but who wants to watch that? I did some research on the psychosis of school shooters. I did find interesting points such as:
1. feelings of detachment and isolation
2. problems relating to others, including feeling or showing affection
3. shooters kill at the place they felt rejected
4. have a lack of compassion
5. it's possible the killer lacked compassion or empathy for them, instead seeing them as symbols of something he wanted to obliterate
6. they feel powerless
7. struggle with their own identities
8. there is a need for absolute control through the use of “omnipotent” ideologies in order to transcend
human limitations.
9. they are possessed by "existential rage"
10. often victims of abuse
Sounds like hell on earth, no?
Then I started picking at my personal demons, just to make myself connect with Dylan on a certain level, so that I could have some authority or permission to write about her, otherwise, there's no reason for me to continue writing about her. And the one demon that I narrowed it down to (amongst others), was that I hate that I do a lot for others but never seem to get any of that reciprocated. It's childish and silly, but not being treated the way I treat people irks me. It's even worse when someone is ignorant or caught up in their own world to even think outside their limitations (which is sometimes not their fault).
I narrowed it down to one demon for Dylan: She never knew how to stand up for herself. I cannot reveal certain events that made her completely defenseless and unable to stand up for herself, but just know that I really beat my character to the point of a psychotic breakdown.
Am I sadistic? Masochistic? Why would I do this to a character? Well, first of all, that character is FAKE. And secondly, this is real life. People have actually killed others in a school. I'm not depicting this character because I like to see war, devastation and pain. I am simply exploring how human beings treat other human beings, allowing viewers to see things in a different perspective, get them to rethink how you treat others. Actions are louder than words. Always.
I'm not condoning that people become school shooters, or killers for that matter. I'm not saying it's okay, I'm saying that for some people, it SEEMS like it's their way out. In some twisted way, they arrived at the conclusion that their life would be better if they did commit crimes against humanity. Why?
That's the question I want to answer with this story.
There are three things that I want to touch with The Ashtray Heart:
1. The first has already been established: to explore the life of a character who's never fought for herself.
2. A commentary on broadcast television news networks, and basically how they're not airing stories that are relevant to us as a republic and as an electorate. It's kind of sad that we have to hear about Justin Bieber's Deposition video rather than what's going on within our own country. Human interest stories don't seem to exist anymore.
3. To get people aware of the cycle of violence. It starts with any of these: oppression, to violence, to injustice. It starts with one of these and the victim is stuck thinking they can't escape it.
Coming back to the idea that we can do something about helping others, the only way we can is by treating others with respect and open-mindedness. When you use others as a conduit for your selfish needs, you're adding burden/emotional weight to them, even though you or them aren't aware of it. Dylan was used all her life by the people she attempted a relationship with. She tried reaching out and ended up getting hurt, continually being beaten.
I cannot reveal to you everything that's in the story, but I can give you visual aid and my dream cast. A lot of writers suggest using your imagination to come up with faces for characters is better than assigning real actors, but my imagination isn't that extensive.
The location of the story is in beautiful Seattle, Washington. A place that I've ALWAYS wanted to go to.
I've always been attracted to places with rain, and despite the high suicide count of this city, that's never stopped me from wanting to go there. That's like saying I'll never go to Germany because Hitler was from there.
My reasoning for picking this location is because of the rain, and the general isolation that one feels while being in Seattle. It's surrounded by a lot of bodies of water. It's breathtakingly beautiful and is home to many sightings and fun places to play around with. The dark weather is what sets the mood for the entire screenplay. When it's dark, it's usually a bad day and when the sun creeps out on rare days, there's a bit of hope. It's cliche, but it's very influential in setting mood and tone.
It's mainly set at a real Seattle school called Garfield High School, but that's not so important.
There's this section of the story where Clay, the main guy character, takes Dylan out in Downtown Seattle to escape from the party he is actually hosting. Clay is in a relationship that is down spiraling, and at first, he's a complete idiot (I believe douche is the correct word) who goes to the next interesting girl to get some release. The problem is that Dylan is actually interesting to him, and it basically blocks him from doing anything too forward to her. This city walk is a classic way for the two to get to know each other on the same level. It's quite touching.
This story also involves a lot of theatre references, but mainly to one that everyone should know about: A Streetcar Named Desire.
It is a famous play written by playwright Tennessee Williams, who is also famous for Cat On a Hot Tin Roof and The Glass Menagerie.
Williams' plays are very realistic, and explore the human psyche through the relationships that characters have between each other, which is why I admire his work very much.
Dylan takes an interest in method acting, a method where actors immerse themselves into their characters by doing things that the characters would do. If you're familiar with the work of Daniel Day Lewis, you'd understand.
Fun fact: Daniel Day Lewis, who starred as Lincoln in Spielberg's Lincoln (2012), stayed in bed all day during the last days of the shoot, where they shot Lincoln's assassination. He wouldn't get up out of bed for fear of shedding from the character. Once they wrapped up, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (co-starred as Lincoln's son) said that once he got up out of bed, he began to shed the character little by little.
Dylan takes part in a threatrical production of Streetcar, which is a small parallel in and of itself within the story. Dylan is the lead role, Blanche DuBois, who is basically a beautiful and gorgeous Southern Belle who seems like she's a magnet for trouble. She seems all innocent, but she's actually psychotic. In a small way, Blanche is everything Dylan wants to be: beautiful, smart, likable. But under the surface, she's not right. I'm really excited to work alongside Williams' characters with my own.
Here's the dream cast:
Emilia Clarke as Dylan Allister.
One of the things that I love about Emilia Clarke is her spunk. She has this fire I see when she's acting, like she's two totally different people on and off the screen (which is how actors should be). Here, you can see how beautiful and how vulnerable she can look. Definitely perfect for Dylan.
Andrew Garfield as Thomas Langford
Thomas is the only person in the story that actually shows any decent human warmth to Dylan. British (just like Garfield), tall, geeky, cute, real, and warm, Thomas offers a perspective outside the cycle of violence, where he sees past Dylan's troubles and past and see her for how she really is.
Jennifer Lawrence as Hayden Rabe
Hayden, like Jennifer, is a fiery young woman. Hayden is passionate and you'd have to be to work as a reporter/part time new anchor for INR, the Independent News Report, a news broadcast network stationed in Seattle. The INR has been rising to the top, along with CNN and FOX News, but once the CEO takes a turn to save the integrity of INR's original motto, and when he assigns Hayden to investigate Dylan Allister's story, she takes a personal journey that she should've taken a long time ago. She's sassy, sarcastic, witty and beautiful all in one.
John Gallagher Jr. as Jack Cooper
Jack Cooper is the executive producer of INR, the middle man between the CEO, Lex Rhodes, and the employees. Determined to get the job done, he's also determined to make the mood lighter. Essentially, he's Hayden's partner and opposite, working as her confidante and only real friend.
John Gallagher Jr. plays Jim Harper in HBO's The Newsroom. Jim is a sweet, adorable senior producer who has a turbulent romance with one of the associate producers, Maggie. I thought it would be interesting to see his wit, charm and adorableness work as a buffer for Hayden. Plus, I can see him and JLaw as a good duo onscreen.
Ewan McGregor as Mr. Gary Gallagher
Besides being one of the most talented men on the planet, Ewan McGregor usually plays the main character, where you love him no matter what flaws the character has. Here, I imagined him as a manipulative, which is what Mr. Gallagher essentially is. He is Garfield High's Theatre arts teacher, who eventually becomes Dylan's mentor in a sense. He turns out to become the only real father figure Dylan has, but as the year goes by, she realizes that he's just like her peers. Not all adults are adults. I may be crossing the line when I say Ewan is who I imagine to play this character, but he's very versatile. He could do it. It's just too bad he'll be too old to play him when I get the resources to film it.
Michael Shannon as Henry Allister
Henry is Dylan's uncle, her father's brother. He adopts Dylan under his care after her years of being in the foster system. He seems like a charitable angel, right? Wrong. I won't tell you all the details about him, but he's basically a sick person who abuses Dylan as a way to compensate for the life he wanted to have with Dylan's mother. Michael Shannon is probably one of the sweetest guys on the planet, but you can't deny how menacing he looks in these photos. Haha. If you've seen Premium Rush and Man of Steel, you'd know what I'm talking about.
Am I sadistic? Masochistic? Why would I do this to a character? Well, first of all, that character is FAKE. And secondly, this is real life. People have actually killed others in a school. I'm not depicting this character because I like to see war, devastation and pain. I am simply exploring how human beings treat other human beings, allowing viewers to see things in a different perspective, get them to rethink how you treat others. Actions are louder than words. Always.
I'm not condoning that people become school shooters, or killers for that matter. I'm not saying it's okay, I'm saying that for some people, it SEEMS like it's their way out. In some twisted way, they arrived at the conclusion that their life would be better if they did commit crimes against humanity. Why?
That's the question I want to answer with this story.
There are three things that I want to touch with The Ashtray Heart:
1. The first has already been established: to explore the life of a character who's never fought for herself.
2. A commentary on broadcast television news networks, and basically how they're not airing stories that are relevant to us as a republic and as an electorate. It's kind of sad that we have to hear about Justin Bieber's Deposition video rather than what's going on within our own country. Human interest stories don't seem to exist anymore.
3. To get people aware of the cycle of violence. It starts with any of these: oppression, to violence, to injustice. It starts with one of these and the victim is stuck thinking they can't escape it.
Coming back to the idea that we can do something about helping others, the only way we can is by treating others with respect and open-mindedness. When you use others as a conduit for your selfish needs, you're adding burden/emotional weight to them, even though you or them aren't aware of it. Dylan was used all her life by the people she attempted a relationship with. She tried reaching out and ended up getting hurt, continually being beaten.
I cannot reveal to you everything that's in the story, but I can give you visual aid and my dream cast. A lot of writers suggest using your imagination to come up with faces for characters is better than assigning real actors, but my imagination isn't that extensive.
The location of the story is in beautiful Seattle, Washington. A place that I've ALWAYS wanted to go to.
I've always been attracted to places with rain, and despite the high suicide count of this city, that's never stopped me from wanting to go there. That's like saying I'll never go to Germany because Hitler was from there.
My reasoning for picking this location is because of the rain, and the general isolation that one feels while being in Seattle. It's surrounded by a lot of bodies of water. It's breathtakingly beautiful and is home to many sightings and fun places to play around with. The dark weather is what sets the mood for the entire screenplay. When it's dark, it's usually a bad day and when the sun creeps out on rare days, there's a bit of hope. It's cliche, but it's very influential in setting mood and tone.
It's mainly set at a real Seattle school called Garfield High School, but that's not so important.
There's this section of the story where Clay, the main guy character, takes Dylan out in Downtown Seattle to escape from the party he is actually hosting. Clay is in a relationship that is down spiraling, and at first, he's a complete idiot (I believe douche is the correct word) who goes to the next interesting girl to get some release. The problem is that Dylan is actually interesting to him, and it basically blocks him from doing anything too forward to her. This city walk is a classic way for the two to get to know each other on the same level. It's quite touching.
This story also involves a lot of theatre references, but mainly to one that everyone should know about: A Streetcar Named Desire.
It is a famous play written by playwright Tennessee Williams, who is also famous for Cat On a Hot Tin Roof and The Glass Menagerie.
Williams' plays are very realistic, and explore the human psyche through the relationships that characters have between each other, which is why I admire his work very much.
Dylan takes an interest in method acting, a method where actors immerse themselves into their characters by doing things that the characters would do. If you're familiar with the work of Daniel Day Lewis, you'd understand.
Fun fact: Daniel Day Lewis, who starred as Lincoln in Spielberg's Lincoln (2012), stayed in bed all day during the last days of the shoot, where they shot Lincoln's assassination. He wouldn't get up out of bed for fear of shedding from the character. Once they wrapped up, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (co-starred as Lincoln's son) said that once he got up out of bed, he began to shed the character little by little.
Dylan takes part in a threatrical production of Streetcar, which is a small parallel in and of itself within the story. Dylan is the lead role, Blanche DuBois, who is basically a beautiful and gorgeous Southern Belle who seems like she's a magnet for trouble. She seems all innocent, but she's actually psychotic. In a small way, Blanche is everything Dylan wants to be: beautiful, smart, likable. But under the surface, she's not right. I'm really excited to work alongside Williams' characters with my own.
Here's the dream cast:
Emilia Clarke as Dylan Allister.
One of the things that I love about Emilia Clarke is her spunk. She has this fire I see when she's acting, like she's two totally different people on and off the screen (which is how actors should be). Here, you can see how beautiful and how vulnerable she can look. Definitely perfect for Dylan.
Penn Badgley as Clay Kazmerak
Half-Portuguese and Half-British, Clay is a troubled, troubled young man. Born to a famous actress and a screenwriter, Clay was born to be in the film industry. He's handsome, rich, popular and has Tessa Tabbot as a girlfriend. Why isn't he happy? This story involves Clay's journey into finding what he needs where he least expects it. He's so used to glamour running his life that he doesn't realize the good it can bring out of it, namely Dylan. Dylan is the only person he's ever connected with in his life besides his father, who passed away when he was a child. Will he learn to rise above his need to use others for his selfish needs?
Andrew Garfield as Thomas Langford
Thomas is the only person in the story that actually shows any decent human warmth to Dylan. British (just like Garfield), tall, geeky, cute, real, and warm, Thomas offers a perspective outside the cycle of violence, where he sees past Dylan's troubles and past and see her for how she really is.
Jennifer Lawrence as Hayden Rabe
Hayden, like Jennifer, is a fiery young woman. Hayden is passionate and you'd have to be to work as a reporter/part time new anchor for INR, the Independent News Report, a news broadcast network stationed in Seattle. The INR has been rising to the top, along with CNN and FOX News, but once the CEO takes a turn to save the integrity of INR's original motto, and when he assigns Hayden to investigate Dylan Allister's story, she takes a personal journey that she should've taken a long time ago. She's sassy, sarcastic, witty and beautiful all in one.
John Gallagher Jr. as Jack Cooper
Jack Cooper is the executive producer of INR, the middle man between the CEO, Lex Rhodes, and the employees. Determined to get the job done, he's also determined to make the mood lighter. Essentially, he's Hayden's partner and opposite, working as her confidante and only real friend.
John Gallagher Jr. plays Jim Harper in HBO's The Newsroom. Jim is a sweet, adorable senior producer who has a turbulent romance with one of the associate producers, Maggie. I thought it would be interesting to see his wit, charm and adorableness work as a buffer for Hayden. Plus, I can see him and JLaw as a good duo onscreen.
Ewan McGregor as Mr. Gary Gallagher
Besides being one of the most talented men on the planet, Ewan McGregor usually plays the main character, where you love him no matter what flaws the character has. Here, I imagined him as a manipulative, which is what Mr. Gallagher essentially is. He is Garfield High's Theatre arts teacher, who eventually becomes Dylan's mentor in a sense. He turns out to become the only real father figure Dylan has, but as the year goes by, she realizes that he's just like her peers. Not all adults are adults. I may be crossing the line when I say Ewan is who I imagine to play this character, but he's very versatile. He could do it. It's just too bad he'll be too old to play him when I get the resources to film it.
Michael Shannon as Henry Allister
Henry is Dylan's uncle, her father's brother. He adopts Dylan under his care after her years of being in the foster system. He seems like a charitable angel, right? Wrong. I won't tell you all the details about him, but he's basically a sick person who abuses Dylan as a way to compensate for the life he wanted to have with Dylan's mother. Michael Shannon is probably one of the sweetest guys on the planet, but you can't deny how menacing he looks in these photos. Haha. If you've seen Premium Rush and Man of Steel, you'd know what I'm talking about.
Zoe Kravitz as Tessa Tabbot
Clay's girlfriend (Penn Badgley actually dated her too, a coincidence I actually didn't know about), and talented aspiring actress, Tessa came from a bad background but always was glutton for the glamour she always wanted. She figured Hollywood would do. The twisted thing is that she is very talented at acting, especially when it comes to being a friend. Once best friends with Dylan, Tessa decided to want more than just the life of a foster child. She betrayed Dylan and many others (I would assume) to be where she is at right now.
Zoe Kravitz is a gorgeous woman, there's no denying that she's got an appeal. She's fiesty and plus I loved her in X-men First Class.
Bryan Cranston as Lex Rhodes
Lex Rhodes dedicated his life to building up INR, a network dedicated to sharing human interest stories, the ones you never hear about that everyone SHOULD be hearing about, whilst staying away from the cliche far left or far right agendas that other networks swear their allegiance to. He wants to create a news station that actually reports relevant news, and not to report what kinds of dresses Angelina Jolie and Demi Moore wore at the Oscars this year.
I really hope that this screenplay comes through, and in conclusion, I'm really excited about this project and hope that it goes on the silver screen someday.
The next blog will feature the music of The Ashtray Heart, where you will get a hint of the mood and tone of the entire plot.
Thanks for reading!
Your fan,
Mementran
Recommended Movies to Watch:
Chronicle (2012)
Short Term 12 (2013)
Short Term 12 (2013)
American Horror Story (season one): the entire season encompassing Tate.
Elizabethtown (2006)
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