The Ashtray Heart - Spotify

There is an entire playlist on my Spotify that's dedicated to the mood/tone of The Ashtray Heart.

I'm really into indie music because there's no specific genre ou can label them. To me, indie music is geared toward the openminded, not that there's anything wrong with sticking with one genre of music, but you're missing out on a lot of talent. Indie music lovers are usually the hipsters, the ones who figure out that the band/musician/artist is actually amazing before they go mainstream. I'll give you an example.

I used to love Maroon5. Their album Songs About Jane was and still is a classic. They created their own unique style, distinguished by Adam Levine's voice. But the last few years have been geared toward bad synth and pop. It's catchy, but not substantial to me. And then Levine started stretching his talents by acting and starring in a reality game show. -_-

The Ashtray Heart is a mix of independent music, instrumental genius and lyrical rock. To help me write, I traditionally listen to songs that make me feel or remember certain feelings. It's a lot of stuff I already am familiar with, but my music mind palace is incredibly extensive so I have a lot to pick from. But of course, I love exploring more music, although that takes a lot of time and patience, which I have a short supply of due to school and work.

The overall mood/tone/feeling I wanted to get from Ashtray is a big answer because it is a plethora of emotions all wrapped into one story. It can be classified as creepy, dramatic, heartfelt, sad, depressing, heart-wrenching, etc. If I had to put it in one word, it'd be: hopeless. There are moments where it is hopeful and happy but those are immediately stripped from the reader/viewer as they continue with the story. Sorry.

Here's a list of the artists I've used so far to listen to that have corresponded with the tone I wanted to achieve in Ashtray:

Jimmy Eat World

Blue October

Cranes & Crows

Radical Face

The Weepies

Down Like Silver

Dustin O'Halloran

Daft Punk

James Newton Howard

Rocky Votolato

Woodid

Green Day

Joel P. West

Dry the River

Seryn

U.S.Royalty

Muse

The xx

Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Otis Redding

The Avett Brothers

Linkin Park

Debussy

Placebo

My Chemical Romance

Velveteen

Other Lives

Lindsey Stirling

Lights

Nancy Wilson

Jane Jane POllock

Owl City

Mozart

Ivan & Alyosha

Regina Spektor

To Humans

Blind Pilot

Bryan John Appleby

The Milk Caton Kids

Wool on Wolves

Calhoun

Nat & Alex Wolff

Bjork

Big list. I know. So, the next post will be the highlights of this playlist in case you don't have Spotify and I'll give some background as to why I chose these songs.

The Ashtray Heart

This is going to be a big update, simply because there's so much to tell you.

I probably already told you that I want to be a film director one day, and by independent film standards, I already am. But eventually I want to work on feature films, simply because I'll have more resources to pick from instead of scrounging around and mooching off of the people I know.

Anyways, I don't just want to direct. For the longest time, I thought of being a writer. That's easy, right? I've been writing my entire life, stories, short stories, fan fictions, unfinished fiction books, etc. I may not have finished most of them, but you have no idea how many ideas run through my head daily. "I don't know how your head hasn't exploded yet," my best friend Brittney said to me the other day.

I don't know either. It's a mystery how many hours I've spent on just thinking about stories. I'm sure I've gotten in mini comas during some lower division college classes because I was too wound up in another fictional world. Not to be like Kanye, but I realized that I'm pretty much a god when it comes to writing. I control everything, which is one of the reason why I love it so much.

But being just a writer is very limiting in and of itself. Unless your book 'series' has been recruited to adaptation by the Hollywood kooks, then you won't be flithy rich and widely known to anyone. (Not that Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings wasn't successful, they're wonderful films and books.) I didn't want just to write.

Then I thought, how about an artist? You can design and still have creative freedom. Sure, I'm a good artist, but I found out I'm really good at COPYING. If I have a picture beside a blank one, I can copy detail for detail and make it look exactly the same. Which still takes a lot of talent, according to those I've shown my artwork to. But it's incredibly hard for me to think of something from scratch and just draw it. I can MAYBE get the skeleton of it all. I love to draw and paint, but I don't think I can be a legit artist. 

There's nothing that gets me more excited than cinematography. I've always been a fan of composing things in a certain frame. This translates well with photography and other art projects that I've done. It's even more a challenge when the frame is moving constantly. I guess you could say that I wasn't into cinematography fully until I witnessed the film Chronicle (2012). It's documentary-like style, the handheld shakey camera would seem like an amateur way to film things, but when you have a theme or a point to prove, it suddenly makes it beautiful. Remember, this was when I was struggling with either majoring in Linguistics or Film. I've done some video shoots, but nothing super elaborate.

I did do a short film in the summer of 2012 with a couple of friends from high school. It was god awful on some points, but the experience, nonetheless was fullfilling since I wrote, directed, edited and did the camerawork. I loved being challenged. But, just doing the camerawork wouldn't be enough for me.


So, basically. I discovered that I'm a very well rounded filmmaker, which will be very handy in the future. What does this all have to do with anything?

Well, currently, I'm in RTVF 455, a screenwriting class where we basically have to write an entire screenplay by the end of December. I thought it would be fun for you to understand that I'm not just a director. I usually immerse myself into all aspects of film, from costuming to editing. I'm sort of a mini-auteur (a director who has full control over everything), like Charlie Chaplin. Auteurs are the kind of people who have project where you KNOW that the director had their hands on everything, as though you can feel that THIS IS something made by J.J. Abrams or Christopher Nolan or Martin Scorsese.

Fun fact: J.J. Abrams physically shook his own cameras when shooting the 'diving on the drill' scene in Star Trek (2009) to get that shakey and unstableness. If you watch the behind the scenes on the DVD, you see J.J. on the camera shaking it. Hahaha

So, for RTVF 455, I must use the treatment I wrote for my previous class (RTVF 350 - Story Strucutre) as a template for the screenplay. If you don't know what a treatment is, it's a very dense overview of what the story will be about. It hits major literary points so that when writers pitch to executives, the execs know what's exactly in the story.

That treatment was one of the most difficult tasks of my life, but one of the most rewarding. It ended up being 11-12 pages, single spaced, 12 point Times New Roman font, of detailed story plot. I did get an A on it and after having a call appointment with my professor, I was surprised to find that it was actually a very decent and well thought out treatment.

It was a very good day for me to hear this from someone who's already been through the industry, working his way through to write 3-5 scripts a year. I'm very proud of this treatment and even though it took a part of my soul with it, I'm very excited to write the screenplay.

So! I am challenged to write ten pages every week until the semester ends. It'll be a fun ride. I invited people I know to read it as I go, sending them updates on the screenplay until I'm done.

Now for the story, it's entitled 'THE ASHTRAY HEART':

It's a very serious drama about a teenage girl named Dylan Allister, who takes solace within theatre (specifically method acting) as a result of the many abuses in her life, and the female reporter, Hayden Rabe, who personally takes it upon herself to figure out why Dylan became a school shooter.

It's a very dark subject, and not expected from someone like me: 20 year old Mormon girl who lived in a small town in California's Mojave Desert who doesn't partake in drinking, drugs, or anything else the world has to offer. But I do partake in films. I may be religious, but that does not limit me from having an open mind. If I didn't have one, I'd be forever stuck.

My goal for this screenplay is to get the audience to actually feel sorry for her despite her being a school shooter, which we ALL KNOW IS VERY BAD. So, to get a human being with moral standards to feel empathy for a character, who is learly crazy, is pretty much an impossible goal. NO. NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

As I said in my first blog post, I am very much interested in humans and why they do the things they do. Granted, I'm exploring a mind that I have no inkling of, but that's what makes it interesting. With this project, I hope to make it as realistic as possible, to stay away from the cliches of Hollywood and Summit Entertainment, who believed having Catherine Hardwicke direct the first Twilight would be a grandiose idea. (NOT.)

I have a lot of stories I want to do, but I thought of The ASHTRAY HEART about a year ago, back when my friend Clay Lacey and I were trying to kickstart a zombie short film that focused on human interest instead of the actual zombie apocalypse. Even though the project fell through before it could begin, it was instructive. It was about a girl who learns that in order to not turn into a zombie, she must do things that remind her to be human. She meets this renegade who's been bit more than once but hasn't turned. He's the only one who knows the cure, which is to just be human. It's a very interesting idea, and it kinda ignited this fire I had.

It's an interesting notion to think that there are people out there that fight everyday to try and feel something. It sucks to know that people get hurt every day, that we can't do anything about it. This, I believe, is a false notion.

We CAN do something about it. I started thinking about what to do to Dylan Allister, the main character, so that people would feel for her. One way was to make her whiny, but NO ONE likes a whiny character. This is what turned me off to Hunger Games. Sure it's realistic, but who wants to watch that? I did some research on the psychosis of school shooters. I did find interesting points such as:

1. feelings of detachment and isolation

2. problems relating to others, including feeling or showing affection

3. shooters kill at the place they felt rejected

4. have a lack of compassion

5. it's possible the killer lacked compassion or empathy for them, instead seeing them as symbols of something he wanted to obliterate

6. they feel powerless

7. struggle with their own identities

8.  there is a need for absolute control through the use of “omnipotent” ideologies in order to transcend 

human limitations. 

9. they are possessed by "existential rage"

10. often victims of abuse

Sounds like hell on earth, no?

Then I started picking at my personal demons, just to make myself connect with Dylan on a certain level, so that I could have some authority or permission to write about her, otherwise, there's no reason for me to continue writing about her. And the one demon that I narrowed it down to (amongst others), was that I hate that I do a lot for others but never seem to get any of that reciprocated. It's childish and silly, but not being treated the way I treat people irks me. It's even worse when someone is ignorant or caught up in their own world to even think outside their limitations (which is sometimes not their fault).

I narrowed it down to one demon for Dylan: She never knew how to stand up for herself. I cannot reveal certain events that made her completely defenseless and unable to stand up for herself, but just know that I really beat my character to the point of a psychotic breakdown.

Am I sadistic? Masochistic? Why would I do this to a character? Well, first of all, that character is FAKE. And secondly, this is real life. People have actually killed others in a school. I'm not depicting this character because I like to see war, devastation and pain. I am simply exploring how human beings treat other human beings, allowing viewers to see things in a different perspective, get them to rethink how you treat others. Actions are louder than words. Always.

I'm not condoning that people become school shooters, or killers for that matter. I'm not saying it's okay, I'm saying that for some people, it SEEMS like it's their way out. In some twisted way, they arrived at the conclusion that their life would be better if they did commit crimes against humanity. Why?


That's the question I want to answer with this story.
There are three things that I want to touch with The Ashtray Heart:

1. The first has already been established: to explore the life of a character who's never fought for herself.
2. A commentary on broadcast television news networks, and basically how they're not airing stories that are relevant to us as a republic and as an electorate. It's kind of sad that we have to hear about Justin Bieber's Deposition video rather than what's going on within our own country. Human interest stories don't seem to exist anymore.
3. To get people aware of the cycle of violence. It starts with any of these: oppression, to violence, to injustice. It starts with one of these and the victim is stuck thinking they can't escape it.
Coming back to the idea that we can do something about helping others, the only way we can is by treating others with respect and open-mindedness. When you use others as a conduit for your selfish needs, you're adding burden/emotional weight to them, even though you or them aren't aware of it. Dylan was used all her life by the people she attempted a relationship with. She tried reaching out and ended up getting hurt, continually being beaten.

I cannot reveal to you everything that's in the story, but I can give you visual aid and my dream cast. A lot of writers suggest using your imagination to come up with faces for characters is better than assigning real actors, but my imagination isn't that extensive.

The location of the story is in beautiful Seattle, Washington. A place that I've ALWAYS wanted to go to.
I've always been attracted to places with rain, and despite the high suicide count of this city, that's never stopped me from wanting to go there. That's like saying I'll never go to Germany because Hitler was from there.

My reasoning for picking this location is because of the rain, and the general isolation that one feels while being in Seattle. It's surrounded by a lot of bodies of water. It's breathtakingly beautiful and is home to many sightings and fun places to play around with. The dark weather is what sets the mood for the entire screenplay. When it's dark, it's usually a bad day and when the sun creeps out on rare days, there's a bit of hope. It's cliche, but it's very influential in setting mood and tone.

It's mainly set at a real Seattle school called Garfield High School, but that's not so important.

There's this section of the story where Clay, the main guy character, takes Dylan out in Downtown Seattle to escape from the party he is actually hosting. Clay is in a relationship that is down spiraling, and at first, he's a complete idiot (I believe douche is the correct word) who goes to the next interesting girl to get some release. The problem is that Dylan is actually interesting to him, and it basically blocks him from doing anything too forward to her. This city walk is a classic way for the two to get to know each other on the same level. It's quite touching.

This story also involves a lot of theatre references, but mainly to one that everyone should know about: A Streetcar Named Desire.
It is a famous play written by playwright Tennessee Williams, who is also famous for Cat On a Hot Tin Roof and The Glass Menagerie.
Williams' plays are very realistic, and explore the human psyche through the relationships that characters have between each other, which is why I admire his work very much.

Dylan takes an interest in method acting, a method where actors immerse themselves into their characters by doing things that the characters would do. If you're familiar with the work of Daniel Day Lewis, you'd understand.

Fun fact: Daniel Day Lewis, who starred as Lincoln in Spielberg's Lincoln (2012), stayed in bed all day during the last days of the shoot, where they shot Lincoln's assassination. He wouldn't get up out of bed for fear of shedding from the character. Once they wrapped up, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (co-starred as Lincoln's son) said that once he got up out of bed, he began to shed the character little by little.



Dylan takes part in a threatrical production of Streetcar, which is a small parallel in and of itself within the story. Dylan is the lead role, Blanche DuBois, who is basically a beautiful and gorgeous Southern Belle who seems like she's a magnet for trouble. She seems all innocent, but she's actually psychotic. In a small way, Blanche is everything Dylan wants to be: beautiful, smart, likable. But under the surface, she's not right. I'm really excited to work alongside Williams' characters with my own.

Here's the dream cast:

 

Emilia Clarke as Dylan Allister.

One of the things that I love about Emilia Clarke is her spunk. She has this fire I see when she's acting, like she's two totally different people on and off the screen (which is how actors should be). Here, you can see how beautiful and how vulnerable she can look. Definitely perfect for Dylan.

 

Penn Badgley as Clay Kazmerak

Half-Portuguese and Half-British, Clay is a troubled, troubled young man. Born to a famous actress and a screenwriter, Clay was born to be in the film industry. He's handsome, rich, popular and has Tessa Tabbot as a girlfriend. Why isn't he happy? This story involves Clay's journey into finding what he needs where he least expects it. He's so used to glamour running his life that he doesn't realize the good it can bring out of it, namely Dylan. Dylan is the only person he's ever connected with in his life besides his father, who passed away when he was a child. Will he learn to rise above his need to use others for his selfish needs?

Andrew Garfield as Thomas Langford

Thomas is the only person in the story that actually shows any decent human warmth to Dylan. British (just like Garfield), tall, geeky, cute, real, and warm, Thomas offers a perspective outside the cycle of violence, where he sees past Dylan's troubles and past and see her for how she really is.

 


Jennifer Lawrence as Hayden Rabe

Hayden, like Jennifer, is a fiery young woman. Hayden is passionate and you'd have to be to work as a reporter/part time new anchor for INR, the Independent News Report, a news broadcast network stationed in Seattle. The INR has been rising to the top, along with CNN and FOX News, but once the CEO takes a turn to save the integrity of INR's original motto, and when he assigns Hayden to investigate Dylan Allister's story, she takes a personal journey that she should've taken a long time ago. She's sassy, sarcastic, witty and beautiful all in one.

 


John Gallagher Jr. as Jack Cooper

Jack Cooper is the executive producer of INR, the middle man between the CEO, Lex Rhodes, and the employees. Determined to get the job done, he's also determined to make the mood lighter. Essentially, he's Hayden's partner and opposite, working as her confidante and only real friend.

John Gallagher Jr. plays Jim Harper in HBO's The Newsroom. Jim is a sweet, adorable senior producer who has a turbulent romance with one of the associate producers, Maggie. I thought it would be interesting to see his wit, charm and adorableness work as a buffer for Hayden. Plus, I can see him and JLaw as a good duo onscreen.

 

Ewan McGregor as Mr. Gary Gallagher

Besides being one of the most talented men on the planet, Ewan McGregor usually plays the main character, where you love him no matter what flaws the character has. Here, I imagined him as a manipulative, which is what Mr. Gallagher essentially is. He is Garfield High's Theatre arts teacher, who eventually becomes Dylan's mentor in a sense. He turns out to become the only real father figure Dylan has, but as the year goes by, she realizes that he's just like her peers. Not all adults are adults. I may be crossing the line when I say Ewan is who I imagine to play this character, but he's very versatile. He could do it. It's just too bad he'll be too old to play him when I get the resources to film it.

 

Michael Shannon as Henry Allister

Henry is Dylan's uncle, her father's brother. He adopts Dylan under his care after her years of being in the foster system. He seems like a charitable angel, right? Wrong. I won't tell you all the details about him, but he's basically a sick person who abuses Dylan as a way to compensate for the life he wanted to have with Dylan's mother. Michael Shannon is probably one of the sweetest guys on the planet, but you can't deny how menacing he looks in these photos. Haha. If you've seen Premium Rush and Man of Steel, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Zoe Kravitz as Tessa Tabbot

Clay's girlfriend (Penn Badgley actually dated her too, a coincidence I actually didn't know about), and talented aspiring actress, Tessa came from a bad background but always was glutton for the glamour she always wanted. She figured Hollywood would do. The twisted thing is that she is very talented at acting, especially when it comes to being a friend. Once best friends with Dylan, Tessa decided to want more than just the life of a foster child. She betrayed Dylan and many others (I would assume) to be where she is at right now.

Zoe Kravitz is a gorgeous woman, there's no denying that she's got an appeal. She's fiesty and plus I loved her in X-men First Class.

Bryan Cranston as Lex Rhodes

Lex Rhodes dedicated his life to building up INR, a network dedicated to sharing human interest stories, the ones you never hear about that everyone SHOULD be hearing about, whilst staying away from the cliche far left or far right agendas that other networks swear their allegiance to. He wants to create a news station that actually reports relevant news, and not to report what kinds of dresses Angelina Jolie and Demi Moore wore at the Oscars this year.

I really hope that this screenplay comes through, and in conclusion, I'm really excited about this project and hope that it goes on the silver screen someday.

The next blog will feature the music of The Ashtray Heart, where you will get a hint of the mood and tone of the entire plot.

Thanks for reading!

Your fan,

Mementran

Recommended Movies to Watch:

Chronicle (2012)
Short Term 12 (2013)

American Horror Story (season one): the entire season encompassing Tate.

Elizabethtown (2006)

The Boho Shoot

Currently, it's been a very stressful ride. I'm sure you remember that I am attending Cal State Fullerton, residing in Anaheim, where I am majoring in Radio/TV/Film (emphasis on FILM but TV is always a great option too) with a minor in Advertising.

(Mementran original; do not steal)

This is Marta. Blonde, blue-eyed beauty. She recently lost a lot of weight and I think it's an exceptional goal to be healthy. She was beautiful before but is even more so now. Marta and I are of the same religion (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) so I've known her for a long time. She was always funny and adorable, as evidenced in this candid photo of her.

This is my second semester here since I transfered from community college, and it really is a different environment. It's only different because I decided to pursue a major that focuses on creativity and subjectivity, so I get to exercise that capacity EVERY DAY. I never knew what it was like to look forward to a class until I started my major classes. The first thing I thought was..."why am I taking two additional years before getting into doing something I want?".

Granted, the last two years of community college helped me decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but I wasted two years on classes that didn't help me. It was a review of EVERYTHING I did in high school. Good thing I didn't start at a university where I could've furthered my school debt to around $20,000 PER YEAR. I would've been 40K in debt already! My cost at CSUF is about $7,000 a year (two semesters).

(Mementran original; do not steal)

This is one of my friends from high school, named Amy. I believe that she was two years below me in high school (or one, I dunno), but I always admired her natural beauty. She always looked amazing, whatever she was wearing. Her dark hair and somewhat pale complexion, with the white and black accents of her outfit made her look brilliant.

Lesson to be learned: It's okay if you're at community college, just have a plan and research ways that shortcut the unnecessary and the stupid. And believe in yourself.

Back to the actual subject of this blog post...I am currently in a Film Production class, where I have to plan, shoot and edit videos. Before we start any of those projects, we were challenged to do a 'camera test', where we shoot like 15 takes of zoom ins, outs, pans, tilts, lighting, and other simple shots.

I thought this was relatively boring. It's an easy challenge to the point where it wasn't a challenge, but I am known for making bigs things out of smaller ones. (Not referring to drama). I like to go above and beyond when it comes to projects. It's a weird trait to have, but it's helped me when projects didn't go my way and I had to improvise.

I decided that, while filming my models, I would also do a photoshoot. Initially, I wanted to do a short film about nature, but I didn't have a DSLR that could shoot in 60 fps, allowing me smooth slow-motion shots.

As you can see, I've already posted the results throughout the blog because who wants to read text without pictures?

So, what I did for the photo shoot (actually for a lot of them), I just asked beautiful people I knew if they would model for me. About 90% of the time, they say yes. For me, the trouble is NEVER the model or getting them to look good. From past experiences, I've gotten so many compliments about how my models look amazing. Of course, it helps that they're already beautiful people, inside and out, but I like to bring about natural looks.

And how I do that is by talking to my models. As previously stated in the previous blog post about Jenny and The Wanderer shoot, I try my best to make them laugh, smile, or be sad in the easiest way I can. And that's just by talking to them.

Since Marta and Amy are complete nerds and weirdos at heart, (me as well), I appealed to their daily obsessions and interests that I shared with them. NAMELY: Sherlock (BBC), Sons of Anarchy, Legend of Korra, and mostly Benedict Cumberbatch. (I really hope that if, someday, Ben reads this, he won't feel creeped out.)

There was no particular reason why I chose to do a Bohemian theme, even though I ALWAYS make a backstory about my models. It was more centered around natural beauty. I like to shoot in natural light more than using a light kit because it's way easier and more fun to work with, hence the 'natural beauty' point.

I shot a few inside, but mostly outside. There's this indent in the High Desert that's just this mini forest. It's a beautiful little Narnia that I love to just photograph and make videos in. So I thought it went perfect with the BOHO (Bohemian) theme.

So, without further ado...the BOHEMIAN SHOOT:

(Mementran original; do not steal)

This was not an easy shot to do. I took this at my grandmother's house, where she has a big sliding glass door. It wasn't easy because there were a lot of things in the background (which directs the eye anywhere but at the model), so I used the curtain to illuminate Marta into an angel. I love her blue eyes in this shot.

(Mementran original; do not steal)

This is my favorite of Marta. I shot this at sunset, or 'magic hour', which makes any subject seem beautiful. Marta has the most gorgeous complexion and the soft yellow of the sun perfectly made her glow. I wish that tree was out of the frame for compositional purposes, but everywhere we shot, there was a tree.

So I prefer photos to be in black and white versus color. A lot of photographers believe that black and white devalues a photograph or the features of the subject, but I believe that it's more attractive not because it 'devalues' it, but simplifies the picture into what's most important. There's nothing wrong with color. Color is a gorgeous component that has endless possibilites, but if we just change things to their natural values (black, white and grays), we can see things differently. I think it flatters subjects more than color.

For example:

 (Mementran originals; do not steal)
This is my favorite of Amy's. It's hard to pick your favorite. I made her do a 'smolder', but that only made her laugh because it reminded her of Flynn Rider from Tangled. So, I told her to think of something serious and sad, so he thought of the last episode of the tenth Doctor, where David Tennant says "I don't want to go" before he regenerates into Matt Smith.

The Narnia atmosphere is mostly defined in the color edit of the photo, where greens and yellows rule the day. They even shape Amy, covering her with a backlight blanket of sunlight. It's beautiful and it flatters her complexion in every way. But the one thing I wanted to test and practice with, is composing a photograph that best accentuates a person's overall complexion. So, Amy, being dark haired and somewhat pale skinned, this makes her mroe flattering in black and white values, or very saturated or lightly saturation colors (dark colors or very light ones). As opposed to Marta, who is blonde and has more skin color, in this case, the middle (gray valued) saturated colors like yellow would be more prominent on her than on Amy.

Do you see how Amy looks more centered and more prominent in the B&W  photo than the color? She looks like a part of nature in the color, one with the frame, but the B&W shows what's most important in the frame: Amy. This is because all the greens and yellows are devalued and blend together while Amy's black and white stand out.

(Mementran original; do not steal)

I do edit photos, using Adobe Premiere CS6. I always do a set of color edits, black and white edits and (for fun) antique edits.

(Mementran originals; do not steal)
The photo on the right is an example of an antique edit, by adding a color filler and then dissolving it to the original black and white photo.

(Mementran originals; do not steal)

Recommended movies of the week:

City Lights (1931): This beloved classic of mine was directed, shot, produced, written and stared the one of a kind Charlie Chaplin. This is a black and white film full of slapstick comedy, heartfelt emotional beauty and the aesthetic and wonderous land of actual film.

The Giver (2014): This isn't a movie you should see if you're into story and action, but it is a classic read for middle schoolers. It's one of the few American films that's been in black and white probably since the slaughter action scene in Kill Bill Volume One by Quentin Tarantino. I saw it with my mother last weekend and she didn't notice the film was in black and white until half way through the film. It just goes to show how sensitive our eyes our to dark and light (that's also because we have ore rods than cones) values. The film is beautiful for it's cinematography and that's about it.

Pride and Prejudice (2006): This film uses a lot of natural light to most of its scenes, from exploring the U.K. landscapes and borders to the second to last sense where Darcy returns to Elizabeth just before the sun starts to rise, coloring the two in a gorgeous light, making them glow in a moment of connectedness.

The Wanderer

Last year in May (2013 if you forget what year it was), my Photography 101 class was taking its toll on me. This was because I had four other classes, taking 17 units and it was my last semester so I had to make it count. Photography takes up a lot of your time if you're working with film. It's not just doing the photoshoot that kills you, it's finding the time to process everything (physically processing), then transitioning the film to a print in the Dark Room, buying the right supplies and making sure that you do it all right or else you're pretty much screwed.



 Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis? Sheldon: Screwed.

But don't let this discourage you from doing film photography. It's one of the best experiences. It gave me plenty of opportunities to listen to albums I didn't have time to listen to. It gave me space to think about the stories I was writing at the time. I had TIME to just think. It's a beautiful to be standing there shaking a can (in a certain way, mind you) while listening to old school Demon Days (It's by the Gorillaz, you uncultured swine) and to eventually slide into Absolution (Muse). Even more beeautiful when your film or print turns out like you wanted it to. More often then not, I had stunning prints. I still have them!

One assignment was to photograph people. Outside and inside. I planned three different photoshoots, all happened within one or two weeks.

I'm friends with a lot of actors (I don't like the word actress probably the same reason I wouldn't call a female reporter a reportress), photographers and talented artists, so it wasn't hard to find people. When your passion reigns over your time, you find that you're a magnet for its friends.

My first shoot was with one of my best friends, Jenny Cook-Arias. She's one of the biggest nerds in the universe and the universe next to us. Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, she loves them all. But you wouldn't expect her to have such a unique and beautiful style in her every day attire. She's gorgeous and I decided to just grab an old suitcase from my high school drama teacher and we were set.

THE WANDERER (Mementran original - do not steal)

Since I was new at film photography, I had no idea how to tell models how to be. But I figured it out. To get natural photos, you must have your models be natural. Don't tell them to be sad. Don't tell them "I want you to be angry".
That's not good direction.

You have to have some sort of theme in your photoshoots. To me, I have better direction for ME and if you're solid with what YOU want, then you will do fine.

Tell your model something like this "I'm thinking the girl is just happy being wherever the wind takes her." You could even come up with a backstory if that helps (I always do).

And you can slyly do this...but it's hard: talk to your model and have them talk back to you.

For this, I wanted the story to be about a girl who was just happy wherever she was. 'HAPPY' was the key word. So I talked to Jenny about Star Trek and all the things she loves, and of course, making her laugh. In this photo, I got her to laugh by telling her that I was gonna make her laugh.

It helps when your model is naturally in tuned with the photoshoot, that they WANT to be there. If you're fighting with them on doing the shoot or not, then chances are, they're too busy but don't want to let you down or they don't want to.

WHEREVER IT TAKES ME (Mementran original - do not steal)

She was and is absolutely gorgeous.
When you capture a genuine emotion, it kinda stirs your heart a little. I'm glad I had the opportunity to shoot this wonderful person.

Recommended movies of the week:
Waiting for Forever (2010): A heartwarming story of two childhood friends. The guy was always in love with the girl, even while traveling around the world as a bum, he returns, only to win her heart. It has that indie feel to it that I love.
Silver Linings Playbook (2012): This is one of the most brilliant films I have ever seen. It's very awkward but remember that people are awkward. It's all about letting go of circumstances you can't control and learning to be happy.

Starting With the Basics

There is a beautiful aesthetic feeling when a photographer develops photos that he/she is proud of. Especially when they were shot with a film camera, where you couldn't see what frames you shot in an instant. We've all grown up with technology at its peak, where smartphones are able to do what computers can do and intentional leaks about celebrities spread like wildfire.

I recently watched a video by the Fine Bros, two brothers on Youtube who get volunteers of a certain demographic to experience the world of today or the past. The latest one was "KIDS REACT TO GAMEBOY". 

If you don't know what the first gameboy looked like, you're too old to understand how marvelous the thing is. Basically, if you haven't watched the video, kids (that were born the year 2000 or later) react to an old game console, mostly reacting in ways that were astounding and kind of expected. The thing is a brick.

ANYWAYS, my point is that we do take the older things for granted. Which is why I wasn't a real photographer until I used my father's old film camera.

I attended my community college for two years before transferring, so most of the classes I took there were terrible because they were the general education classes that made me want to tip my hair out. At least I was saving money.

The one silver lining I found was when I took Photography 101. Little did I know that this class involved developing real film, so I discovered that my father still had his film camera. It's a beautiful vintage Canon AE-1. It's one of the most beautiful piece of machinery I had ever seen. It was one of my favorite classes because I actually spent endless hours in the dark room and the developing room, making my prints and scheduling shoots with my actor friends.

The greatest thing about this camera was that I couldn't look at what I just shot. I had to force myself to learn everything about the camera's settings and buttons, force myself to learn about lighting and composition. I already had a creative eye, as told by many of my teachers but also from my photography professor.

Professor Romano was a difficult professor in terms of critique. He was very harsh and raw, unfiltered. But it was the best thing about the class. I felt like I was at a university learning film instead of being at a community college. I improved. A lot.

It's always good to start by learning about the history of your passions, where they started and who was a conduit of them. You learn things that make you better. I'm glad to have experience with film cameras and to connect with the past.

Here are a couple of film prints that I created during that class:

Trudge (Mementran films, original. Do not steal.)

My first assignment was to capture still shots, which is to capture things that are not moving. My professor said this was a very cliche shot, and it MAY be, that's his opinion, but I shot this because shoes remind me of 'trudging', 'struggling', or the miles and miles of land that pioneers walked. I've had these pair of Converse since my freshman year of high school and I still have them six years later. I dirted the socks myself.

Eve Before the Warring (Mementran films,original. Do not steal.)

This is a chess set that my brother got when he and my dad went to Vietnam together on a trip. I absolutely love the detail and the stone pieces. They not only remind me of Jumanji, but also remind me of war. I love the cinematography in films that have the beginning of a battle where the two side are staring at each other, waiting to start. The camera will focus from the foreground to the background, a subtle but powerful move.

This is a still of my very own violin. I named her Violet. I have been playing the violin since I was in elementary school. I played in all my school's bands except for high school. I stopped taking lessons when I was a freshman because I was so focused on getting into BYU that I felt school was more important. But I never forgot how to play. I recently picked it back up again, but that's an entry for another time.

IN HER NATURAL STATE (Mementran films, original. Do not steal.)

FAMILY PIANO

The last still is of my family's piano, which has been there ever since I can remember. It was my first instrument I ever learned to play. I took lessons, but never did anything with it beyond that, but I do play and very well, might I add. Let me just tell you, that ALL ART IS SUBJECTIVE. Professor Romano (and many others) believe that photographing the light source of a photo is very bad for photography, but to me, I framed the piano this way just so you can exactly see the light source. It bothered him for some reason, but it didn't for me. So moral of the story is to continue doing what you love despite what people say about your passion. (Mementran films, original. Do not steal.)

Whatever you are into, make sure to stick with the basics of it first and never forget them. It' be helpful to you now and in the future. Good luck in whatever you are pursuing!

See you next time, bros.

Recommended movies of the week: 

The Pianist (2002) - Prepare for emotional feels and focus on the desperation of a man who only wants to do what he loves: playing the piano. It made me think of how valuable our passions our and sometimes they're so powerful that they move people. Not physically, though. That'd be kinda cool.

Memento (2000) - This film involves using a polaroid camera where Leonard uses polaroid photos to keep his life in order as he battles short term memory loss.

Hero (2002) - This is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. The choreography, cinematography, story and use of color is absolutely brilliant. There is a scene where two men fight in a chess court, which is my favorite because it consists of water, creating depth in movement where there may be none.